CW: incest, sexual abuse
Back then when
we both liked
Chinese food
but never talked
about our birth
mothers, I couldn’t
be honest. We met
in Sunday school
where you ate
gefilte fish
which was
before
the synagogue
disintegrated
under the cantor’s
prostitution ring.
Remember the time
when I sent you
Bob Dylan song
lyrics and said
we couldn’t
be friends?
I’m sorry.
You never had
a dog, a confidant
to whisper to
after your substitute
mother suggested
a boob job
or your substitute
father made
sexual comments.
I’m reading
about incest
studies—
A woman picks
up the phone, a stranger
asking her—
did a family
member touch
you?—and she
says that it
did not affect
her very much
but resists naming
her father.
Clingy and frightened
my first two weeks
in America
were difficult,
though my adoption
records say—
I “got over this,”
and appeared
“emotionally
normal,” if I am honest
I would tell you
how scared
I was—
because actually
my substitute
father was driving
high on slick
highways,
telling me,
“I would
never hurt
you.” And
I’d be happy
if you have
a dog now
who kisses
your face
after a good
cry, whose
breathing
calms your own.
Note from the author: While I was writing “BFF” and other poems, I was reflecting on articles and books about incest such as The Secret Trauma: Incest in the Lives of Girls and Women by Diana E.H. Russell.
Bo Hee Moon is a South Korean adoptee. Born in South Korea, she was adopted at three-months-old and grew up in Illinois. Her poems have appeared in Cha, Cream City Review, Gulf Coast, The Margins, Tupelo Quarterly, Zone 3, and others. Omma, Sea of Joy and Other Astrological Signs, published by Tinderbox Editions, is her debut collection of poems. You can find her at www.boschwabacher.com