How to reconcile the statement
You have no reason to be hurt
with the fact that I am.
Two claims to logic:
{who wins?}
First, there are these “feelings”
on the one hand: a weakness.
But then, on the other,
no “I” present;
one speaks as
no one from nowhere.
Of course, one is speaking
for someone else—
You,
who is not to be trusted
to self-assess,
who is having trouble, now,
pointing to the hurt.
Funny how
the feeling could be there,
but with no one from nowhere
not there to acknowledge it,
it’s like it somehow
never is.
Listen to Jessica Covil-Manset read “Gaslit” here.
Author’s Note: “Gaslit” explores (in an experimental/linguistically playful manner) the ways that women’s experiences are often denied or downplayed, and how emotions—associated with women—are rejected as not being sound/valid/relevant, even when they are good indicators of harm. The poem expresses the feeling of being invisibilized or silenced—the sadness and the rage underneath it, with a hint of biting humor at the scriptedness of narcissistic abuse. It speaks to any kind of relationship, whether familial, romantic, or between friends.
Jessica Covil-Manset is an English PhD Candidate at Duke, pursuing graduate certificates in African & African American Studies and Gender, Sexuality, & Feminist Studies. Her research examines how poetry and poeisis have been taken up to imagine and advocate for more equitable political praxis. Her poems have been published in SWWIM Every Day, Whale Road Review, and Rise Up Review, among other journals, and she was nominated for the 2020 Best of the Net.